Mary making so many random excuses about why she’s searching Jesse’s bed is definitely suspicious. Either she was looking for dirt on Jesse to give to Director Granger or she was trying to bug Jesse.
Oh, fun. The whole “child prodigy spy” thing even means that Jesse’s got a crapton of security measures she set up on her laptop. I mean, sure, I’ve seen that kids take to technology better than adults a lot, but this is ridiculous (even given a generic spy situation).
OK, Jai is… one of Jesse’s other friends in the spy program?
OK, apparently the C2 building is disguised as, like, a regular office building or something, given how Jesse’s able to look out onto the street and wish she was like one of the normal kids she sees out the window? And only the labs and Director Granger’s office are in the secret underground lair?
So, Jesse’s worried about her first mission being a way for C2 to get rid of her like Rohan? Yeah, that… seems like a possibility already.
So, Director’s giving Jesse her first real mission, Liam is her totally-not-a-chaperone-spy-partner, and he’s still pissed about the whole Spy Kids thing.
Oh, fun. The hobo she ran into while tracking Liam worked for C2, too, and she’dve been dead for getting caught if it wasn’t a training mission.
Of course the guy Jesse was tracking works for C2 too and was part of her test. (And apparently she knocked him out hard enough to give him a huge goose egg on his head.)
And of course Liam doesn’t believe a kid could’ve been the one to track him. Because apparently (based on a huge implication here) he wasn’t told exactly who was being tested. And because ageism and not believing child prodigies are a thing. Or something.
Also, apparently Spy Kids Operation IQ is supposed to be a huge step in science, according to Director Granger? So, like, are these kids supposed to be genetically engineered to be superhero super spies or something?
Oh, fun. I’m getting “Jesse got tortured” vibes about the implication of what happened when she tried to run away from C2 to be a normal kid.
OK, so, apparently it’s late fall? And it’s in Venice.
And we’ve got Victor Getz the private detective.
Esther and Max are Prosper and Bo’s aunt and uncle, and I don’t like them already. Way too stiff personalities.
Of course the two boys ran away. I can already tell their aunt and uncle are the type to not let kids be kids. And the type to only want to adopt Bo because they think taking in an orphaned relative is a status symbol or something.
So the two boys ran away from Germany to Venice because their recently deceased single mother told them stories about how pretty Venice is.
Have I mentioned how much I don’t like Esther and Max for being stuck-up pricks?
OK, Victor’s got two pet tortoises called Lando and Paula. Is Lando named after Lando Calrissian? Also, if Paula’s a pop culture reference, whatever it is went right over my head.
“So, what would you do if you knew your last day would be your last day? All these cheesy teen romance tropes (including a well-deserved dig at Twilight)? If I knew that, I wouldn’t have done that, I would’ve… hung out with my boyfriend… in… yet another cheesy teen romance trope?”
“But what happened was I overslept after binge watching TV the night before, stole my mom’s super-fashionable clothes, had a run-in with my school’s stereotypical mean girl Kristen, and had the subway run late when I just wanted to get home. Also, I got murdered when someone shoved me into the path of the subway when it actually did show up.”
This book is ridiculous at times, but I still love it.
I remember loving this book in like 8th or 9th grade (2005-2007) when I was in the middle of my Sleepy Hollow phase. And I’m definitely classifying it in my Goodreads tags as one of those books I used to love but realize that they weren’t actually that great/haven’t aged well/aren’t really my taste anymore.
It doesn’t help that I’m pretty sure this series is out-of-print. I got lucky and found the first two books at the Books-A-Million back then at the peak of my interest (although technically in the clearance section), and the third and fourth books I’ve only rarely seen at one of my local used book stores and on ThriftBooks.
Anyway, back to my actual review…
OK, so Aimee and Shane are moving from Boston to Sleepy Hollow. And they’re both pretending to not be upset about it. And Shane’s… apparently doing a better job of it?
So, Aimee and Shane’s mom recently died of cancer, and they’re all taking it kinda hard (especially Aimee?).
Mr. Lancaster apparently got a job as an editor for the local paper or something?
And the late Mrs. Lancaster had some ancestors from Sleepy Hollow because of course that’s not foreshadowing for something bad to happen and for Aimee and Shane to be involved.
And it’s also Totally Not Foreshadowing that Shane became super-withdrawn after the mom died. And… wait, it’s not clear which kid was involved (maybe Shane?), but the vague reference to an incident with the teacher’s? principal’s? car is also Totally Not Foreshadowing.
Oh, fun. As soon as the Lancasters roll into town, their car dies and crashes.
AND THEN ALL HELL BREAKS LOOSE BECAUSE OF COURSE IT DOES. A bunch of street lights nearby just shatter, animals start freaking out, and the river… starts boiling?
Of course there’s a Van Brunt family still in town.
So this Stasia girl’s parents work at a restaurant. And of course her house is apparently haunted.
And all the phones in Town Hall just so happen to all go off at the same time.
And some headstones in the middle of the Old Dutch Church cemetery shatter because of course they do.
And the holy water in another local church starts boiling with a sulfur smell because of course it does.
All of this goes down all at once, and (just based on what they saw), Mr. Lancaster somehow convinced himself that this is all an elaborate prank instead of all Hell literally breaking loose.
A random-yet-related note: now I’m suddenly reminded that one of these days, I should get new copies of Jessica Verday’s The Hollow trilogy to review here. The first book was a promising start (that now I think about it, I’d hate it because it’s kinda Sleepy Hollow meets Twilight), the second book was… really weird, and I rage quit early on in book three.
Oh, fun. This is another one of those prologues that take place in the middle of the action and the majority of the book is a flashback and the main character’s just like “why me?”
So, Aphra’s running around in the forest in the middle of a thunderstorm.
And she’s being shot at. So that’s fun.
Hoo boy. This last paragraph is… there’s a lot to unpack here. So there’s this Very Important Guy called Seth, someone called Bianca is/was in trouble, and Aphra’s got mommy issues.
So, the first thing Death notices about death scenes is the colors of the surroundings. Gotcha.
Also, Death is very insistent on the well-known fact that everyone dies.
OK, yeah, Death is very obsessed with colors (especially when the sky is a dark chocolate color? or something?). And wants a vacation, apparently.
Death is apparently not a fan of survivors. I mean…
I get the feeling that this is going to be one of those cases where I’m just like “I love this book, but that doesn’t mean I’m not gonna completely pick it apart.”
OK, I’ve heard a lot of comparisons between this and the Miss Peregrine series, and I’m just like… no? There are some horror elements in both (this is more straight horror and Miss Peregrine is more fantasy, though), and they both use a lot of spooky old photos, but that’s… that’s really all?
Anyway, back to the prologue…
So, yeah. This takes place in what used to be an old mental hospital because scary.
So, it’s stopped raining, and Coraline’s finally allowed to go outside again. And apparently the fog is so thick, it puts pea soup to shame.
Coraline ran into Miss Spink, who started reminiscing about how when she and Miss Forcible used to get loads of flowers sent to their dressing rooms from men back when they were actresses (despite total lesbian vibes from the two of them, because how else do you explain them living together with a crapton of dogs once they retired?).
Also, how else are you supposed to interpret the bit two seconds later when Coraline runs into Miss Forcible worrying about Miss Spink wandering around in the fog and getting her shingles to act up?
The Old Man Upstairs is like “The mice hate the fog. Also, they say ‘Coraline, don’t go through the door.'” and Coraline’s just like “LOL what? At least they got my name right.”
School’s supposed to start up in a week, which is always fun.
And now Coraline’s bored again. And her parents are too busy to hang out with her again.
Coraline’s visiting Misses Spink and Forcible for tea. And the two old ladies are fighting like an old married couple.
OK, so, the Old Man Upstairs said the mice don’t want Coraline to go through the totally-not-bricked-and-locked door, and now her tea leaves say she’s in danger. Because that door isn’t weird at all.
So Miss Spink gave Coraline a weird stone with a hole in it to protect her from danger. I know in the movie, it was a flat triangle-looking stone with a hole in it, but I’ve always thought it looked more like a tiny donut?
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